Sunday, 17 April 2016

2016 songs in 5 words or less

(Las canciones de 2016 en 5 palabras inglesas o menos)

My Ranking of the 2016 songs:
(in April, after the official album release and before the rehearsals, compiled with the help of Mr. Gerbear’s Eurovision 2016 Sorting Tool)

12 points: FRANCE (Amir "J'ai cherché"): Mais oui! Oh la la!

10 points: SERBIA (Sanja Vučić ZAA "Goodbye (Shelter)"): I'm infatuated with melodramatic Sanja!

8 points: MACEDONIA (Kaliopi "Dona" (Дона)): Vintage gem by outstanding performer

7 points: UKRAINE (Jamala "1944"): Haunting, moving, meaningful and unique

6 points: ITALY (Francesca Michielin "No Degree of Separation"): Moving classic ballad

5 points: GEORGIA (Nika Kocharov & Young Georgian Lolitaz "Midnight Gold"): Accomplished rock number kicking ass

4 points: ESTONIA (Jüri Pootsmann "Play"): Classy retro coolness

3 points: LITHUANIA (Donny Montell "I've Been Waiting for This Night"): Powerful song with talented singer

2 points: SPAIN (Barei "Say Yay!"): Surprisingly contemporary and "urban". Fun.

1 point: FINLAND (Sandhja "Sing It Away"): Horse Meat Disco time!

And then:

 BOSNIA AND HERZEGOVINA (Dalal & Deen feat. Ana Rucner and Jala "Ljubav je"): A very passionate Balkan chorus

 ALBANIA (Eneda Tarifa "Fairytale"): Bjork-esque underrated loveliness

 GERMANY (Jamie-Lee "Ghost"): Catchy and boring simultaneously. Puzzling.

 MONTENEGRO (Highway "The Real Thing"): I don't always love it

 ICELAND (Greta Salóme "Hear Them Calling"): Desperate copycat of past winners

 AUSTRALIA (Dami Im "Sound of Silence"): Stylish, well produced ethereal product

 UNITED KINGDOM (Joe & Jake "You're Not Alone"): Harmless anthem with pretty boys

 ARMENIA (Iveta Mukuchyan "LoveWave"): WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF

 CZECH REPUBLIC (Gabriela Gunčíková "I Stand"): Pretty but not meaty

 DENMARK (Lighthouse X "Soldiers of Love"): Boys are prettier than song

 IRELAND (Nicky Byrne "Sunlight"): Meh

 ISRAEL (Hovi Star "Made of Stars"): Forgettable. Earlier version was superior.

 HUNGARY (Freddie "Pioneer"): Handsome man with derivative song

 NORWAY (Agnete "Icebreaker"): Vulgar but strangely addictive

 RUSSIA (Sergey Lazarev "You Are the Only One"): Eurovision by numbers with muscle

 SAN MARINO (Serhat "I Didn't Know"): Every year there's a joker

 GREECE (Argo "Utopian Land"): Politically correct pseudo-ethnic mess

 CROATIA (Nina Kraljić "Lighthouse"): Boring irritating pseudo-Celtic number

 BULGARIA (Poli Genova "If Love Was a Crime"): Uninspiring novelty foolery

 POLAND (Michał Szpak "Color of Your Life"): Old fashioned but strangely compelling

 BELARUS (Ivan "Help You Fly"): Will he finally get naked?

 SLOVENIA (ManuElla "Blue and Red"): Decent chorus but unremarkable

 SWEDEN (Frans "If I Were Sorry"): He should be sorry indeed

 LATVIA (Justs "Heartbeat"): I don't get this one

AZERBAIJAN (Samra "Miracle"): Pretty singer, so so song

 NETHERLANDS (Douwe Bob "Slow Down"): Representing the USA yet again

 ROMANIA (Ovidiu Anton "Moment of Silence"): Potential which hasn't been fulfilled

 MALTA (Ira Losco "Walk on Water"): An assault on good taste

 CYPRUS (Minus One "Alter Ego"): Rock schlager meets Britney. Horror.

 MOLDOVA (Lidia Isac "Falling Stars"): How does this go again?

 BELGIUM (Laura Tesoro "What's the Pressure"): Uplifting yet it annoys me

 SWITZERLAND (Rykka "The Last of Our Kind"): Excruciatingly irritating chorus; pain!

 AUSTRIA (Zoë "Loin d'ici"): Can only hear with earplugs

No comments:

Post a Comment