1. Austria Shine Natália
Trying
to be contemporary and cool but failing; Natália's voice doesn't quite
"shine"
2. Estonia Et uus saaks alguse (Estonian) Birgit
Boring
worthy ballad number one
3. Slovenia Straight into love Hannah
Mancini
Euphoria
rip-off number one, incompetently delivered
4. Croatia Mižerja (Croatian) Klapa s mora
Love
it! Old fashioned but very charming and accomplished - shame about the title
5. Denmark Only teardrops Emmelie
de Forest
Catchy
in a cliched Eurovision-by-numbers pseudo-folk kind of way with a dull singer
6. Russia What if
Dina Garipova / Динә
Гарипова
Vomit
break
7. Ukraine Gravity
Zlata Ognevich
Disney
weirdness I shouldn't like but which I
do now thanks to Zlata
8. Netherlands Birds
Anouk
Moody
and ethereal; sublime or just inane? It depends on my mood
9. Montenegro Igranka Who See feat. Nina Žižić
Great
that something as contemporary and edgy as this has a place in the ESC but too hardcore techno/rap for
my liking
10. Lithuania Something Andrius
Pojavis
Because
of the shoes I'm wearing today, I'm loving this; lovely singer, charming song
11. Belarus Solayoh
Alyona Lanskaya
It
starts almost good; goes nowhere;
misguided and dated; Boney M should sue
12. Moldova O mie Aliona Moon
Boring
worthy ballad number three (Russia was two)... but this one is saved by a haunting Balkan
melody
13. Ireland Only love survives Ryan
Dolan
Euphoria
rip-off number two; this time with a twink and drums
14. Cyprus An me thimase Despina Olympiou
Boring
worthy ballad number four; this one in Greek and excruciatingly dated
15. Belgium Love
kills Roberto
Bellarosa
Love
kills over and over over and over over and over over and over over and over -
it annoys me!
16. Serbia Ljubav je svuda Moje 3
Trashy
song, poorly sung. But with a delightfully camp choreography
Semi-final
2
1. Latvia Here we go
PeR
Here
we go. Where? Nowhere. Lame “homage” to George Michael with beat boxing. (Kudos to the brothers' energetic enthusiasm though...)
2. San Marino Crisalide (Vola) Valentina Monetta
A
Frankenstein monster of a song, whose first half I almost like and whose second
half I don't - and Valentina, although a very good singer, is starting to
irritate me...
3. FYR Macedonia Pred da se razdeni Vlatko
Lozanoski & Esma Redžepova
Another
Frankenstein monster of a song; unremarkable; I much prefer Esma's part
4. Azerbaijan Hold me Farid
Mammadov
Old
fashioned, cliched, cheesy and poorly sung by a boy only redeemed by his good
looks
5. Finland Marry me
Krista Siegfrids
Politically
correct Amanda-Palmer-wannabe song which is trashy but delivered with enthusiastic conviction by wacky
Krista
6. Malta Tomorrow
Gianluca
This
one leaves me rather indifferent; well, Gianluca is sweet
7. Bulgaria Samo shampioni Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan
Yankoulov /
One
of the few songs this year that put me in a good mood and makes me want to
dance ( and to collect mushrooms)
8. Iceland Ég á líf Eythor
Ingi
Cold
Nordic ballad competently sung by a Nordic Jesus Christ; very old fashioned
9. Greece Alcohol is free Koza Mostra feat. Agathonas Iakovidis
Even
if I'm not too fond of booze, I love
this one; lots of fun; I enjoy the mix of traditional Greek/Balkan sounds and
ska
10. Israel Rak
bishvilo Moran Mazor
My
favourite female ballad of 2013; wonderfully OTT, overdramatic and passionately delivered by the likeable Moran
11. Armenia Lonely planet Gor
Sujyan
The
biggest disappointment of the year for me; I expected so much more from Armenia
and Gor Sujyan/Dorians...; dull dull dull
12. Hungary Kedvesem (Zoohacker remix) ByeAlex
Interesting;
cool and trendy; but too monotonous for my liking
13. Norway I feed you my love Margaret
Berger
Cold
as the snow where she was born; I don't get the excitement about this one
14. Albania Identitet Adrian
Lulgjuraj & Bledar Sejko
Interesting
mix of rock and ethnic music; it's OK
15. Georgia Waterfall
Sopho Gelovani &
Nodiko Tatishvili
I
hate this one as it mixes two of the most irritating, formulaic and overrated
songs of recent years: Denmark 2010 and Spain 2012; the performers are good
though...
16. Switzerland You and me Takasa
It
starts as though it is fun but then becomes too repetitive and lifeless
17. Romania It's my life Cezar
I've
seen Cezar singing in front of me wearing very tight trousers so I know he's
not a castrato but he does falsetto very well; just a shame his electro-popera
song is very weak and boring, with very cheap lyrics
Final
F
France L'enfer et moi
Amandine Bourgeois
Too-cool-for-school
cabaret rock from France, with a pervy bent, that I feel I should love but I
can’t, even if I do appreciate Amandine’s “raw” talent
F
Germany
Glorious
Cascada
Euphoria
rip-off number 3; the most shameless of them all. From a relatively well-known
band, fronted by a woman with questionable dress sense. Boring.
F Italy
L'essenziale
Marco Mengoni
Just
sublime. A charismatic performer with stunning good looks and a gorgeous
expressive voice, singing a moving pop-rock ballad with beautiful meaningful
lyrics. What’s there not to like?
F Spain
Contigo hasta el
final ESDM
A
contemporary but low-key pop-rock experiment from Spain, represented this year
by a band of posh hippies who bring a fresh cool look and a Northern Celtic
flavour… will the experiment work?
F
United Kingdom Believe in
me Bonnie Tyler
A
pop-rock legend with a competent catchy song that will bring to the UK
something they had long forgotten they could get: points. And a lot of them.
16. Sweden
You
Robin Stjernberg
Sorry.
How does this go? I can’t remember it…
