My Ranking of the 2016 songs:
(in April, after the official album release and before the rehearsals, compiled with the help of Mr. Gerbear’s Eurovision 2016 Sorting Tool)
12 points: FRANCE (Amir "J'ai cherché"): Mais oui! Oh la la!
10 points: SERBIA (Sanja Vučić ZAA "Goodbye
(Shelter)"): I'm infatuated with melodramatic Sanja!
8 points: MACEDONIA (Kaliopi "Dona" (Дона)): Vintage
gem by outstanding performer
7 points: UKRAINE (Jamala "1944"): Haunting,
moving, meaningful and unique
6 points: ITALY (Francesca Michielin "No Degree of
Separation"): Moving classic ballad
5 points: GEORGIA (Nika Kocharov & Young Georgian
Lolitaz "Midnight Gold"): Accomplished rock number kicking ass
4 points: ESTONIA (Jüri Pootsmann "Play"): Classy
retro coolness
3 points: LITHUANIA (Donny Montell "I've Been
Waiting for This Night"): Powerful song with talented singer
2 points: SPAIN (Barei "Say Yay!"): Surprisingly
contemporary and "urban". Fun.
1 point: FINLAND (Sandhja "Sing It Away"): Horse
Meat Disco time!
And then:
BOSNIA AND HERZEGOVINA (Dalal & Deen feat. Ana Rucner and Jala "Ljubav je"): A very passionate Balkan chorus
ALBANIA (Eneda Tarifa "Fairytale"): Bjork-esque underrated loveliness
GERMANY (Jamie-Lee "Ghost"): Catchy and boring simultaneously. Puzzling.
MONTENEGRO (Highway "The Real Thing"): I don't always love it
ICELAND (Greta Salóme "Hear Them Calling"): Desperate copycat of past winners
AUSTRALIA (Dami Im "Sound of Silence"): Stylish, well produced ethereal product
UNITED KINGDOM (Joe & Jake "You're Not Alone"): Harmless anthem with pretty boys
ARMENIA (Iveta Mukuchyan "LoveWave"): WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF
CZECH REPUBLIC (Gabriela Gunčíková "I Stand"): Pretty but not meaty
DENMARK (Lighthouse X "Soldiers of Love"): Boys are prettier than song
IRELAND (Nicky Byrne "Sunlight"): Meh
ISRAEL (Hovi Star "Made of Stars"): Forgettable. Earlier version was superior.
HUNGARY (Freddie "Pioneer"): Handsome man with derivative song
NORWAY (Agnete "Icebreaker"): Vulgar but strangely addictive
RUSSIA (Sergey Lazarev "You Are the Only One"): Eurovision by numbers with muscle
SAN MARINO (Serhat "I Didn't Know"): Every year there's a joker
GREECE (Argo "Utopian Land"): Politically correct pseudo-ethnic mess
CROATIA (Nina Kraljić "Lighthouse"): Boring irritating pseudo-Celtic number
BULGARIA (Poli Genova "If Love Was a Crime"): Uninspiring novelty foolery
POLAND (Michał Szpak "Color of Your Life"): Old fashioned but strangely compelling
BELARUS (Ivan "Help You Fly"): Will he finally get naked?
SLOVENIA (ManuElla "Blue and Red"): Decent chorus but unremarkable
SWEDEN (Frans "If I Were Sorry"): He should be sorry indeed
LATVIA (Justs "Heartbeat"): I don't get this one
AZERBAIJAN (Samra "Miracle"): Pretty singer, so so song
NETHERLANDS (Douwe Bob "Slow Down"): Representing the USA yet again
ROMANIA (Ovidiu Anton "Moment of Silence"): Potential which hasn't been fulfilled
MALTA (Ira Losco "Walk on Water"): An assault on good taste
CYPRUS (Minus One "Alter Ego"): Rock schlager meets Britney. Horror.
MOLDOVA (Lidia Isac "Falling Stars"): How does this go again?
BELGIUM (Laura Tesoro "What's the Pressure"): Uplifting yet it annoys me
SWITZERLAND (Rykka "The Last of Our Kind"): Excruciatingly irritating chorus; pain!
AUSTRIA (Zoë "Loin d'ici"): Can only hear with earplugs
ALBANIA (Eneda Tarifa "Fairytale"): Bjork-esque underrated loveliness
GERMANY (Jamie-Lee "Ghost"): Catchy and boring simultaneously. Puzzling.
MONTENEGRO (Highway "The Real Thing"): I don't always love it
ICELAND (Greta Salóme "Hear Them Calling"): Desperate copycat of past winners
AUSTRALIA (Dami Im "Sound of Silence"): Stylish, well produced ethereal product
UNITED KINGDOM (Joe & Jake "You're Not Alone"): Harmless anthem with pretty boys
ARMENIA (Iveta Mukuchyan "LoveWave"): WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF
CZECH REPUBLIC (Gabriela Gunčíková "I Stand"): Pretty but not meaty
DENMARK (Lighthouse X "Soldiers of Love"): Boys are prettier than song
IRELAND (Nicky Byrne "Sunlight"): Meh
ISRAEL (Hovi Star "Made of Stars"): Forgettable. Earlier version was superior.
HUNGARY (Freddie "Pioneer"): Handsome man with derivative song
NORWAY (Agnete "Icebreaker"): Vulgar but strangely addictive
RUSSIA (Sergey Lazarev "You Are the Only One"): Eurovision by numbers with muscle
SAN MARINO (Serhat "I Didn't Know"): Every year there's a joker
GREECE (Argo "Utopian Land"): Politically correct pseudo-ethnic mess
CROATIA (Nina Kraljić "Lighthouse"): Boring irritating pseudo-Celtic number
BULGARIA (Poli Genova "If Love Was a Crime"): Uninspiring novelty foolery
POLAND (Michał Szpak "Color of Your Life"): Old fashioned but strangely compelling
BELARUS (Ivan "Help You Fly"): Will he finally get naked?
SLOVENIA (ManuElla "Blue and Red"): Decent chorus but unremarkable
SWEDEN (Frans "If I Were Sorry"): He should be sorry indeed
LATVIA (Justs "Heartbeat"): I don't get this one
AZERBAIJAN (Samra "Miracle"): Pretty singer, so so song
NETHERLANDS (Douwe Bob "Slow Down"): Representing the USA yet again
ROMANIA (Ovidiu Anton "Moment of Silence"): Potential which hasn't been fulfilled
MALTA (Ira Losco "Walk on Water"): An assault on good taste
CYPRUS (Minus One "Alter Ego"): Rock schlager meets Britney. Horror.
MOLDOVA (Lidia Isac "Falling Stars"): How does this go again?
BELGIUM (Laura Tesoro "What's the Pressure"): Uplifting yet it annoys me
SWITZERLAND (Rykka "The Last of Our Kind"): Excruciatingly irritating chorus; pain!
AUSTRIA (Zoë "Loin d'ici"): Can only hear with earplugs
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