So it’s Belarus’ turn to bring Cossacks to Eurovision this year! Never mind. I have the strong feeling that Belarus will not qualify in 2011. Firstly, because it’s, well, Belarus, a country with a rather poor qualification record (especially for an Eastern European country). Secondly, because of the overly chauvinistic tone and self-referential patriotic title (an approach that rarely seems to work in Eurovision). And thirdly, because, erm, neither the song nor the singer are very good, are they? In spite of some interesting “electro-ethnic” arrangements, this nationalistic Cossack disco song is rather unremarkable and it is delivered by a stilted performer whose voice does not sound very pleasant live. We all know this is not a song but, rather, a political statement.
(Chapuzilla ultra-nacionalista)
Azerbaijan (11-03-13, “Running Scared”, Ell & Nikki)
This RnB influenced mid-tempo ballad is instantly appealing and effortlessly catchy. It is also one of the very few entries this year that sound contemporary. The promotional video is very slick and tastefully put together. But the feeling one gets is that it is all too prefabricated and overproduced. Mindless pastiche. Yes, this entry has many ingredients to do very well in May. And I am sure that Azeri television will work hard to make an impact with the stage presentation. However, I can’t see this winning. On the one hand, I don’t think the title is particularly Eurovision-friendly (e.g., it evokes images of the performers running scared from the stage – especially the male singer). Another concern is the singing: in the recorded version the vocals are impressive, especially hers; but a big doubt is whether they are going to be able to reproduce them live. I would also add that no mixed sex duo has ever won the ESC and I can’t see how these two young performers are going to break that record, especially as (based on the video) there seems to be little chemistry between them.
(Una cancion muy agradable y moderna pero todo tiene una pinta muy artificiosa)
2.5/5
Sweden (11-03-12, “Popular”, Eric Saade)
This song is remarkably forgettable. Its very repetitive chorus fails to be catchy. It may have an elaborate choreography, a signposted key change, a dramatic (if pointless) glass smashing routine and a very cute boy fronting it; but it is still not memorable enough. It is difficult to enjoy something as mechanistic, plastic and outdated as this. (In a similar style, runner-up “In the Club” was a lot more fun). And don’t get me going about the toe-curlingly cringe-inducing lyrics. It just feels like Sweden is determined to overlook the developments of the contest in the last 20 years and their entries are increasingly out of touch with the rest of Europe. And I will always maintain that the Melodifestivalen is seriously overrated. There are many who doubt ‘Popular’ will be popular enough to make it to the final. Eric says: “Stop! Don’t say it is impossible, ‘cause I know it’s possible”. We’ll see.
(Suecada desfasada y poco memorable)
Russia (11-03-12, “Get you”, Aleksey Vorobyov)
So Ricky Martin has dyed his hair blond, he is acting all butch and macho, like a Slavic sex predator, and doesn't mind singing a song that Lady Gaga would have been embarrassed to perform even at the toughest days of her early career. Apparently this song has been penned by RedOne, the guy behind hits like "Poker face". Interesting to know. But that doesn't make the Russian entry any catchier or any more exciting or, most importantly, any more contemporary. In a year plagued with old fashioned ditties, this one is particularly dated. To me, it sounds like mediocre US pop/rock from the 80s, with an annoyingly repetitive 'Ohohohohoh' that takes it nowhere. Admittedly, the performer has a bigger-than-life stage presence and a strong voice. He is also conventionally good looking, though in a cocky, faux-straight, slimy Mafioso kind of way. Sometimes, his singing style can be a bit irritating and the lyrics of the song are embarrassing. This is very run of the mill. Not my cup of tea but will probably get quite a few votes for a variety of (more or less valid) reasons.
(Una canción muy vulgar cantada por un macarrilla que va de guaperas)
2/5
United Kingdom (11-03-11, “I can”, Blue)
This is a difficult one for me. Partly because I’ve been living in the UK for so many years that I am almost a “national” and partly because I have changed dramatically my opinion about this song as a result of hearing it live at Graham Norton’s show. To begin with, I must say that I am not very familiar with Blue as a boy band. I hardly even noticed they existed when they were at the peak of their career in the early 00s. When I recently looked at youtubes of their early hits I was deeply unimpressed by what I found. I never managed to listen to any of their songs from beginning to end as they bored me to death. So I wasn’t expecting much. The music they normally do is not cup of tea. When I listened to the leak of the recorded version of “I can”, one day before its official public presentation, I was decidedly ‘underwhelmed’. Even if I wasn’t expecting much, I was still expecting something a bit “bigger”, a bit more “anthemic”, more “climactic”, more gripping. It sounded like nondescript background music; it felt to me like they could not be bothered. But then I saw their performance on TV and heard them sing the song live! After a very hesitant start, with some clumsy choreography and screechy moments courtesy of high-pitch-Lee, the song just grew and grew. You could see the guys were going for it, they believed in what they were singing and they were presenting it with gusto. I surprised myself thinking: “This could win!” Let’s remember that this is a very poor year and “I can” sounds a little bit more contemporary and "radio-friendly” than the big majority of the entries in 2011. For me, this song’s chorus is one of the strongest this year: subtle but powerful. “I can, I will, I know I can…” is a mantra that could bring them a lot of votes. And they have plenty of time to polish the rough edges by the 14th of May.
(Canción tirando a modernita, nada del otro mundo, pero con un buen estribillo y cantada con ganas y profesionalidad por Blue)
San Marino (11-03-10, “Stand by”, Senit)
This is again one of those songs that are likely to be forgotten even before they are over. Pleasant as it is, it demands attention and repeated hearings before one can really engage with it, which makes it unsuitable for Eurovision in my opinion. There are parts of this relatively modern-sounding ballad that I find quite interesting and appealing. But it’s too airy, too low key. I fear many people will find it boring and their minds will probably go into, erm, “stand by”. Besides, I cannot picture how this is going to be presented on stage; I can’t imagine what could be done to make it stand out visually apart from the gravitas of an elegant, potentially charismatic, performer (which may not be enough).
(Una canción agradable pero un tanto sosita)
Hungary (11-03-09, “What about my dreams”, Kati Wolf)
I could start by saying that this is overrated. But that would mean I am being influenced by other people’s assessments. I will focus here on my first impressions of the song – before I was aware of the hype. To me, this is just... yet another moderately catchy dated 90s-style dance anthem in this year’s contest. Perhaps it is not as abysmal as the Croatian effort; but it lacks the camp playfulness of Israel’s Ding Dong and as boring as Poland’s Jestem, without the latter's sophistication. I don’t think it offers anything new or interesting. Possibly suitable for a provincial gay nightclub but out of touch with current Eurovision trends. And the singer’s looks are a bit… “messy”. How well this does in May will probably depend on whether Kati Wolf’s singing is up to scratch.
(Otra cancion “dance” del montón)
Israel (11-03-08, “Ding Dong”, Dana International)
I’m very fond of Dana International but I must confess I find it generally difficult to understand why former winners may want to try their luck again in Eurovision. Carola’s choice (in 2006) was somewhat understandable because her victory in 1991 was actually a tie and she may have wanted to prove that she could win it outright (sadly for her, she had to accept that she is not “invincible” – although she ended in a very respectable top 5 placing). I believe Johnny Logan is the only winner who has had a successful comeback. On the other side of the Irish coin, it is sad to see someone like Niamh Kavanagh in the undignified position of sharing the bottom of the scoreboard with a newcomer like Josh Dubovie. One wonders what may have driven Dana International to return to the contest 13 years later. Does she really expect a second victory? Is it something to do with the image Israel wants to project internationally? (For me it’s obvious that Israeli television were clearly favouring her). Anyway, the song. It is catchy and enjoyable. But rather underwhelming. Whereas “Diva” sounded fresh, glamorous, novel and exciting in 1998, “Ding Dong” is just a dated, ordinary song in 2011. And the mystery and novelty associated with the singer have clearly faded. Her voice and her singing were not exactly up to scratch when she won but they were acceptable and easy to overlook given the appeal of the song and her stunning stage presence. With a weaker song, a less spectacular appearance and impoverished live singing, the prospects for Israel don’t look terribly good, sadly. (I loved her colourful backing singers in the Israeli final though).
(Qué miedo me da el batacazo que se puede pegar Dana con esta canción tan del montón)
France (11-03-07, “Sognu”, Amaury Vassili)
How many Terabytes of blog space am I allowed to use here? I’ll try to be concise; but it’s going to be difficult. I’ll start by saying that I am not a big fan of “Il Divo”-style male falsetto singing. And the few attempts in this vein in past Eurovisions have displeased me. I'll say, though, that I do admire France’s recent approach to selecting their entries for Eurovision. I like the fact they ostensibly avoid following any trends or established formulas and they just do their thing, without caring so much about their final placing, it would seem. In my opinion, it is also a good policy (for a Big 4/Big 5 country, at least), to use their presence in the contest to showcase some of their most credible or popular recording artists. Thanks to this policy, I was able to discover people like Tellier and Kass, whose music I would probably not have been aware of otherwise. (I wish Spain followed a similar approach). I also like the fact that this entry is sung in a regional language, Corsican (even if the nod to newcomer Italy is a bit too obvious). But, let’s see: do I like “Sognu” and Amaury Vassili? I think that, this year, France – like many other countries before them – has gone for outdated pastiche. They are sending a product which is clearly formulaic and mediocre. Written by numbers. The song evokes a creation process as exciting and creative as diligently following a Delia Smith recipe. The outcome is neither overdone nor undercooked. But rather bland. And this song hasn’t made its mind up about what it wants to be. It starts like Ravel's Bolero, which is nice (even if derivative), then it goes all martial and severe, then a bit more lyrical, then there is lots of loud instrument playing and screeching and then the song fades before you have had time to assimilate it (apparently, there seems to be an audience for this kind of tease/cheat). On top of that, it is elitist, aspirational, vacuous, pompous and pretentious. Paradoxically, it’s populist and snobbish at the same time. And... this piece of rancid candyfloss is performed by a constipated singer who looks like a posh French version of Barbie's Ken. From my humble perspective, his voice is just about adequate for this kind of song, but it is far from exceptional or distinguished. I have not heard him sing live yet; but already in the recorded version of “Sognu”, his singing sounds a bit strained a couple of times. Far from smooth. We’ll see if he delivers in the final. In any case, I doubt that, while trying to reach those high notes live, he’s going to look as “pretty” as he looks when he's miming. Not sure if I’ve been clear enough about how much I detest this entry...?
(Mediocre, irritante y pretencioso.)
1/5
Portugal (11-03-05, “Luta e alegria”, Homens da Luta)
I would like to congratulate the Portuguese people for choosing this song. Admittedly when I first saw the youtube of the winning performance my jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I had listened, a couple of times, to the snippet of the song on the website of Portuguese TV and I had moderately enjoyed the popular, folksy sounds of the song. It reminded me of the lovely "Ruas do Amor" a couple of years back. But nothing had prepared me for the stage presentation of the song, with the retro 70s outfits and the demonstration-style placards. Undoubtedly, it was colourful; but also initially off-putting because of its crass comedic nature. Once I managed to recover from the shock, I decided that the Portuguese had made a very good choice. Who knows? Maybe they will not be able to qualify for the final this year, but even so it is great that an entry like this is part of the contest. I like the fact that it is authentic, different, brave. It is yet another example of the wide range of approaches with which different countries are dealing with the current economic crisis. Many countries are choosing a low key, mildly optimistic approach; others, like Greece and Cyprus are turning all self-important and uber-serious, similarly to the French, who are not only being pompous but also introduce high doses of “aspirational” content; and then the Spaniards, true to form, are opting for fiesta, dancing, fun and, well, 'let’s worry later'. It’s touching that the Portuguese are choosing to take action, to try and get some control over the situation, to fight for a way out of the trouble. But they do it, like their Iberian cousins, with a cheerful attitude. I see this entry as a finger up to the system and to the rest of Europe who have so often undervalued the Portuguese. This entry is much preferable, in my opinion, than all those worthy, boring ballads that nod to the predictable fado without being proper fados themselves. Parabéns, Portugal!
( Enhorabuena, Portugal, por una opción valiente, alegre y con contenido)
3/5
Croatia (11-03-05, “Celebrate”, Daria Kinzer)
What has happened to Croatia?! Croatia is my spiritual home as far as Eurovision is concerned. There are so many Eurovision songs from this country that I love. It is true they have been losing their way a bit recently (e.g. 2007-2008) but they seemed to be getting back on track in the last couple of years (I particularly liked “Lijepa Tena”). Unfortunately the positive trend is broken again in 2011 with a very mediocre entry that I would most associate with a Nordic country rather than with a land bathed by the Mediterranean. ‘Celebrate’ is a song that tries very hard to be good but never quite succeeds. It sounds very old fashioned in an ugly 90s kind of way: predictable schlagger that one has heard too many times before. Even more worryingly, during the live performance of this song in the Croatian final, the (not terribly attractive) singer’s voice sounded strained and occasionally off key. And the stage presentation was simply embarrassing (I hope they change it dramatically). Not high hopes for Croatia this year, I am afraid. (Still, a bit of a guilty pleasure for me...).
(Hortera, desfasada y mal cantada)
2/5
Armenia (11-03-05, “Boom Boom”, Emmy)
When I first saw the list of song titles for the Armenian final, my eyes went straight to Boom Boom, which looked like the obvious choice to me. When I eventually had the chance to listen to the candidate songs, I was reinforced in my opinion that only this could be one to represent Armenia. By which I don’t mean that I particularly liked it or that I thought it was good. I just felt it sounded right for Eurovision (in a clichéd, onomatopoeic way). It’s a confusing song. The start has a Latin American flavour that I associate with Carmen Miranda movies from the 40s or 50s. Then it becomes more disco, with more than one nod to songs like Ukraine’s Shady Lady in 2008. The chorus is easy and catchy, even if somewhat cheesy and repetitive. Admittedly, it is a bit of a letdown after the little gem that Armenia brought us last year with their Apricot Stone. But, in my opinion, "Boom Boom" is sufficiently charming to do (very) well in May – even without relying on diaspora votes.
(Un pelín horterilla e infantiloide pero tiene su encanto)
Slovakia (11-03-04, “I’m still alive”, TWiiNS)
This is the kind of song that one forgets even before it has finished playing. Nothing terribly wrong with this RnB-influenced ballad except that it sounds like a thousand songs one has heard before. It sounds a lot more contemporary than the majority of this year’s Eurovision entries but, apart from that, there is nothing particularly remarkable about it. When it becomes intense it causes me annoyance rather than engagement (a problem I find with a lot of contemporary pop, actually). The twins who perform it are physically attractive, which could gain them some votes. But their ability to sing this live is still unclear (at least based on their contribution as backing singers to the Czech entry a few years back).
(Balada contemporánea pero muy del montón)
Greece (11-03-02, “Watch my dance”, Loukas Yiorkos feat. Stereo Mike)
This bilingual entry from Greece is very bizarre. Very atypical in the context of this year’s Eurovision and also with respect to what Greece has been sending recently. The weirdest sounding song from Greece since S.A.G.A.P.O. in 2002. I think the idea of mixing hip hop and more traditional ‘laiko’ is interesting. I don’t know how common it is to do this kind of thing nowadays in Greece. But the question is whether the combination of the two styles works well or whether it is an awkward mismatch. I personally find the rap parts rather displeasing and annoying, whereas I very much enjoy the Greek-sounding Greek-language parts. Very dramatic. Overall it is a bit pompous and solemn – some may say pretentious. But at least Greece is contributing much needed male eye candy to the contest this year. And Loukas is not only pretty; his voice seems to be powerful enough as well. Lamb souvlaki wrapped in burger buns, with fries, ketchup and tzatziki.
(Un poco rara pero interesante)
Cyprus (11-02-28, “San aggelos s’agapisa”, Christos Mylordos )
This ascetic ethnic song may come across as too austere, solemn and grumpy at points. However, there are quite a few things I like about this one. I like the fact that it sounds very different from pretty much anything any other country has chosen this year. I am also attracted to the sound of the ethnic instruments, especially those with a Middle-Eastern flavour, which remind me of dervish music (which I love). I also like that it sounds somewhat like those dramatic entries Cyprus used to send in the 90s, a golden period for this country in Eurovision, in my opinion. Also Christos is quite sexy, in a rugged kind of way, although he looks a bit serious. Since we only know the studio version of the song, I guess the question is: will he deliver vocally? This should make it to the final (please).
(Me gustan los toques etnicos con sonidos del Oriente Medio)
FYROM (11-02-27, “Rusinka”, Vlatko Ilievski)
This sounds rather coarse overall. I am not really sure what to make of it. I find the Balkan/gypsy sounding parts of it rather appealing and the choreography is very lively. I admire the energy and enthusiasm of the naked-chef-look-alike who performs it (Vlatko looks like a cuter Balkan version of Jamie Oliver). But his voice is harsh and I am not so convinced by the “rocky” elements of the song. As I have said before, I am not a big fan of rock from the Balkans. Although energetic, this entry comes across as very monotonous; it drags a bit.
(Tosca y monótona)
1/5
Slovenia (11-02-27, "Vanilija", Maja Keuc)
